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Another blog by phone 14.11.2018 20:53:43

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder hyponatremia crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression medical complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression fatigue transgender blog chronic pain
I am still feeling crappy. Yesterday in was so exhausted after seeing the doc, I slept, had dinner, took my meds. And pretty much slept through the night. I woke up once to pee and take a horrible selfie. I felt like taking the shot of T then but i was too tired to be […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

More tiredness that is sticking around 13.11.2018 05:26:44

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome ankle pain physical pain mental disorders crps blogging depression blog chronic pain
So over the weekend I emailed my repro endo doc to say I’ve been really tired and described how tired I was and could it be the testosterone? She said most certainly not. I should see my pcp. Well today has been a real fucking day so why should calling my pcp be easy. He […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 11 11 2018 12.11.2018 00:21:59

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sunday Blog 11 Nov 2018 To the Veterans, Thank You for serving and your sacrifice! Today is my Godmother’s birthday. I sent scheduled messages to my cousins, her caretakers, at 11:11 am. I was up till 0430 as my pain was really bad. Started at 8 PM and just continued throughout the night and early […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

what a week 10.11.2018 05:07:10

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain baking blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
What a week! I am sorry I haven’t been writing as frequently as I have. I have just been so exhausted by the end of the day that I can’t think and all I want to do is sleep. I am not sure what is going on, if I am having another depressive episode or […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Election Day 6 November 2018 06.11.2018 19:02:44

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders election bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression election day blog chronic pain chronic illness
Election Day 6 November 2018 I woke up early despite have only a few hours sleep. I had a two hour nap, stayed up until around 330 and then woke up at 0740. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I took my morning meds early and then went downstairs. I brushed my teeth and then […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

finally home to relax 06.11.2018 02:01:19

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain cauda equina syndrome crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Finally home to relax Today is CRPS day so that is why I have an orange ribbon in this post I have been in more pain than my CRPS foot/ankle today. I tried getting a hold of my doctor to see what the hell the plan was other than “see a foot specialist.” I got […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

About suicide hotlines: My thoughts 05.11.2018 00:58:36

psychological pain psychache mental pain suicide attempt schizoaffective disorder psychology grief disability mood disorders ptsd hopelessness psychiatry mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychosis suicide ideation blogging depression suicide blog
About suicide hotlines: My thoughts some hotlines: Crisis text line 741741, National Suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255, Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860, Trevor Project for LNGTQ 866-488-7386 After a 9 year old that came out as gay to his friend and then killed himself, there has been an increase in sending out the suicide hotline numbers. While I know [&#... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

feeling shocked and in a flare 01.11.2018 23:37:34

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball back pain blog chronic pain chronic illness
Feeling shocked and in a flare I’ve been in pain since 5 this morning. I decided I wasn’t going to go to the pain program. I tried leaving a voicemail for the scheduler but she doesn’t work on Thursdays. So I wrote a message to both people I was seeing today through the gateway thingy. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Transition day 28 31.10.2018 20:10:57

transitioning coffee transition disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Transition day 28 Today is my 28th day on testosterone. I forgot to change the time on my med alarm so I woke up at 4 am because that is what I set it two weeks ago. I didn’t like waking up at that time at ALL! But I was awake and I have nothing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Red Sox and other boring stuff 30.10.2018 22:34:07

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Red Sox and other boring stuff The Red Sox won the game on Sunday night. The game got over some time before 1145 pm and I was so excited and thrilled. It was so awesome. But the excitement gave me pain. I have no idea what happened but my malleolus felt like it was bring […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Being really tired because of chronic pain 28.10.2018 15:47:52

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Being really tired because of chronic pain Friday night, I was up really late because the Sox game went into historic extra innings. By 330 am, the game was still going on. It was the top of the 18th inning and I decided to go to bed. I was in pain and needed sleep. The […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

no game tonight so I can sleep early 26.10.2018 01:55:14

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder cooking crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain recipes baking blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
No game tonight so I can sleep early Last night I was so dead, I think I saw the Dodgers take a 2-1 lead and then I passed out. Until 2 am. I had to pee. I did and then I couldn’t go back to sleep so I checked the score. We won 4-2. Price […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

NP idiot 24.10.2018 00:55:28

david jobes coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders hopelessness mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression writing suicide transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
I had an appt with a nurse practitioner that apparently got her license from a cracker jack box or maybe the Boston Globe. She was insistent on me having plantar fasciitis even though my PT ruled it out but didn’t I read the newspaper, not a medical journal, saying that plantar fasciitis is the new […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Long day with no nap 23.10.2018 01:31:13

psychache coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Long day with no nap I didn’t sleep well. The gastritis continued most of the day until I moved my bowels and then I felt better. I think I was so backed up, stuff wasn’t moving until the other end did. I am feeling better now but I got the sharts and just had a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

it’s Midnight and I woke up with heartburn 22.10.2018 07:33:44

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
It’s midnight and I woke up with heartburn I don’t know why they call it heartburn when it really is your esophagus burning. Anyway, I woke up with it and I had it most of the day, severe gastritis that at one point had me sitting down from the pain. It was awful and I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

depression creeping in slowly 20.10.2018 02:26:46

coffee therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder reading crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Depression creeping in slowly I didn’t want to blog today. I slept most of the day until my stupid mother called me to see where I was. I am 42, not 12. Then I got the why are you sleeping? The answer is the same. Pain kept me up. I couldn’t settle down after the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Another depression episode is coming 19.10.2018 01:17:36

psychological pain mental pain coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders hopelessness mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Another depression episode is coming Yesterday I was starting to feel symptoms of depression. Feeling worthless, everyone hates me, loss of appetite, feeling guilty over nothing, etc. Today I felt more of the same as I was riding the bus to my physical therapy appointment. I just didn’t want to go. I thought it was […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appointment and other things 17.10.2018 23:54:07

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy sexual abuse complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball painsomnia blog chronic pain chronic illness
Useless appointment and other things I had little sleep last night. In my painsomnia brain, I had decided to have an 0815 alarm. Why, I don’t remember. I just shut it off and went back to sleep. I am glad I didn’t touch my med alarm or I would have been screwed. I forced myself […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox Win Game 3 17.10.2018 03:47:46

coffee boston red sox disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain red sox nation blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain red sox chronic illness
Sox win game 3 Another nail biter. My favorite (okay one of my favorites) hit a grand salami that sent Houston fans to the exits. Sox won 8-2. A grand salami is a grand slam which is when the bases are loaded and the batter hits a home run scoring 4 runs (those on the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Pats and Sox win!!!! 15.10.2018 07:23:21

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders football mental illness sports bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Pats and Sox win!! Sox won. OverPrice would have had his first postseason win but they pulled him in the 4th inning. I don’t remember why as the fucking announcers were going on and on about some shit that I couldn’t follow. At one point, I lost track of the game because my favorite announcer […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain 14.10.2018 17:04:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain Sox lost last night so that is the “clean water” part of this blog. They were losing 3-2 in the 7th inning when sleepiness overcame me and I had to lay down. I woke up this morning to find out they lost 7-2 so I am glad […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Dystonia, no nap, and an unhappy Friday 13.10.2018 00:59:47

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
I had an early morning appointment with my PCP. I will never make an early appointment again. I just can’t seem to get moving and then I am rushing to get out the door to catch the bus. It was raining this morning but not hard. Just kind of misty. I didn’t care. I hate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain suicide ideation blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain suicide ideation crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

World Mental Health Day 11.10.2018 04:54:02

psychological pain psychache mental pain schizoaffective disorder therapist disability ptsd mood disorders hopelessness therapy psychotherapist world mental health day mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychotherapy psychosis suicide ideation blogging depression writing suicide blog chronic illness
This is going to be negative but I don’t care as it is my lived experience: I’ve been in therapy since I was 15 because I self-harmed. Seen a wide range of therapists from social workers to psychologists to psychiatrists. Most have ended treatment with me for various reasons. I am now on therapist number […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

World Mental Health Day 11.10.2018 04:54:02

psychological pain psychache mental pain schizoaffective disorder therapist disability ptsd mood disorders hopelessness therapy psychotherapist world mental health day mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychotherapy psychosis suicide ideation blogging depression writing suicide blog chronic illness
This is going to be negative but I don’t care as it is my lived experience: I’ve been in therapy since I was 15 because I self-harmed. Seen a wide range of therapists from social workers to psychologists to psychiatrists. Most have ended treatment with me for various reasons. I am now on therapist number […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball writing transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball writing transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Loving Do Not Disturb Function 10.10.2018 00:54:01

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression writing blog chronic pain chronic illness
Loving Do Not Disturb function I was up late, most from the exciting win of the Sox and then pain being stupid. I have no idea what time I fell asleep. I know it was after 0330. I had decided to put the Do Not Disturb on my phone as I didn’t want the med […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Early wake up so feeling like shit 08.10.2018 23:42:12

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression writing blog chronic pain chronic illness
Early wake up so feeling like shit Yesterday I woke up early but I only slept for about 3-4 hours. I didn’t go to bed till around 4-430 am because pain was keeping me up. I kind of woke up okay. I had breakfast and coffee. Then I decided to make my mother her chocolate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Catch up and a little today stuff, too haha 06.10.2018 21:51:22

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Catch up and a little today stuff too haha So yesterday I didn’t write a blog because after my two appointments in Boston, I was tired so took a nap that lasted longer than I wanted it. Then it was game time and after I took my night meds, I was struggling to stay up […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

nice day for doing nothing 05.10.2018 01:47:53

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain cauda equina syndrome crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Nice day for doing nothing Yesterday I had all sorts of pain. I really overdid it. I came home from therapy and was really tired. I tried to lay down to nap and my foot/ankle were shaking from fatigue. It was the weirdest sensation. It was like it was trying to hold itself up and […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

baking on a cold, rainy day 03.10.2018 00:31:26

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Baking on a cold, rainy day I had a difficult sleep. My alarm went off and I was disoriented as I didn’t know what the noise was. I shut it off and waited a few minutes before getting up to take my meds. Then I went back to sleep, which was oblivion for me. I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Guess who… 02.10.2018 01:48:00

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression painsomnia transgender blog chronic pain
I was able to shave and shower this morning. I had a ton of time before I had to leave. I took my time getting ready. I guess the bus I needed to take to the Square was delayed as the other bus came. I decided to take it rather than wait. I figured in […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 30 Sept 18 01.10.2018 00:27:44

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression sleep problem blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sunday Blog 30 Sept 18 I am really upset, at this damn condition and my mother. I attempted to make this blasted lemon loaf. It is getting to be a huge pain in the ass. What I zested at the beginning of Sept was not enough. I bought more lemons as I needed the juice. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Painful Saturday Blog 29 Sept 18 29.09.2018 21:38:35

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders books bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression writing suicide blog chronic pain chronic illness
Painful Saturday blog 29 Sept 18 I woke up before 8 as bladder said so. I went and when I came back to my room and in my bed, my foot exploded. I took my morning pain meds. I waited a half hour and the pain didn’t calm down, I took a breakthrough med. There […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Anxiety and not knowing it (my list of worries) 29.09.2018 00:53:11

transitioning disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Anxiety and not knowing it (my list of worries) Last night I was up due to a flare. I had done way too much and was hurting. I couldn’t sleep so I was thinking a lot of things. I pondered about stuff that happened during yesterday’s PT session. I realized then that I have a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sprain, Pain, and physical therapy 28.09.2018 01:20:59

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sprain, Pain, and physical therapy I had PT today. I had to have my cousin drop me on the station because I was low on the my pass funds, again. I have had to put $15 on the ticket so far because I use it so much. I am definitely getting a monthly pass when […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

About Therapists 25.09.2018 21:50:34

psychological pain psychache mental pain suicide attempt schizoaffective disorder therapist grief disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ptsd hopelessness psychiatry psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychotherapy suicide ideation blogging crps depression suicide blog chronic pain
About therapists I have been thinking about writing this for a while, just an overview about the many therapists I have had from all different degrees and orientations. I started off seeing a school counselor. She was getting her degree in counseling, though I am not sure if it was as a school counselor or […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appt that wasn’t so useless after all!! 24.09.2018 19:47:29

nerve injury disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Useless appointment wasn’t so useless after all!!! I had a hard time sleeping. Pain was awful last night and had me really depressed. I woke up a few times before my alarm but didn’t do much. I was already maxed on stuff I could take and I didn’t want to take any Neurontin because it […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com