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Feeling tired of feeling like shit 08.12.2018 08:21:12

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain
Feeling tired of feeling like shit I had a big flare up Wed after I came home from therapy. My foot pain was really bad. I swear the pain was on a scale of infinity. I was taking my meds but it didn’t seem to work. I was up all night and didn’t go to […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Flare, writing from phone, bullshit of a day 06.12.2018 02:48:29

chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain
Foot and ankle are in indescribable pain. The pain level is so high I don’t think a number can be assigned to it. It went out on me when I was going up to my room after dinner. I’ve been trying to control it. Nothing has helped and sound seems to be making it worse. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Baking Tuesday 05.12.2018 02:40:05

chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder reading crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain baking crps blogging depression blog chronic pain
Baking Tuesday I had back pain throughout the night. I just woke up with pain that immobilized me. I couldn’t move so getting something to stop the pain was difficult. I woke twice hurting. I was late in taking my morning meds because I fell back to sleep after I shut off the med alarm. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 2 Dec 2018 03.12.2018 00:08:55

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain
Sunday Blog 2 Dec 2018 It has been three days since I lowered my mood stabilizer dose by 300 mg and I am feeling better with each passing day. The first couple of days were rough, especially as Friday I had a flare that caused me to pretty much sleep all day yesterday. Today I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

When you want to sleep but your brain has a million things to think of so you write a blog! 01.12.2018 01:05:29

chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder hyponatremia crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain
When you want to sleep but your brain has a million things to think of so you write a blog! I had a good appointment with my psychiatrist today. We went back and forth over what might be the cause of my sodium being low or rather me feeling crummy (she too, doesn’t think it […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Another blog by phone: doctors suck when they don’t know what is wrong 30.11.2018 02:14:31

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder hyponatremia crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression medical complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain
Once again I am a ping pong ball between my psychiatrist and PCP. He doesn’t think my feeling crummy and fatigue has anything to do with my sodium levels even though I explained to the jerk that when I was 2 points lower I felt sick. Now I feel sicker because the damn sodium is […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Fatigue is killing me!!! 27.11.2018 20:26:40

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder hyponatremia crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression fatigue blog chronic pain chronic illness
Fatigue is killing me!!! My alarm went off and I took my meds. I checked to see when my delivery would be here. It said in about 40 minutes. I quickly made some coffee and had a few sips when the truck came. The delivery didn’t include a few bottle of Powerade and the buffalo […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Lots of things and crashing after 27.11.2018 01:22:39

psychological pain psychache disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) medical complex regional pain syndrome physical pain gender dysphoria blogging crps depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Lots of things and crashing after I woke up around 5 for some reason that I don’t remember now. I think I was in pain as I remember taking a pain med. I was hoping this was not going to cause me to be in bed all day as I really wanted to change my […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

blur of days 26.11.2018 00:04:14

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain
Blur of days Friday night I was in a flare. I didn’t get to sleep till 0600 and then I slept all day. I only went downstairs twice to pee. I’ve been living off of protein bars and pie. I mostly been drinking Powerade. Today I was just tired and tried to sleep but my […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

The I should have stayed in bed day 24.11.2018 02:21:04

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders hopelessness mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain
The I should have stayed in bed day I woke up at 6 with my entire body feeling like spaghetti. I knew if I just laid there it would get worse so I sat up to take an Ativan before it could. When I sat up, my damn foot exploded. It was three hours before […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Therapy, fatigue, and still feeling like shit 21.11.2018 22:29:24

chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder hyponatremia crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression medical complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression siadh fatigue blog chronic pain
I managed a shower today. It kind wore me out but I was determined to see my therapist. The bus didn’t give a shit what I had planned as it was like a fucking half hour late. Starbucks didn’t have eggnog so I just had a mocha. I forgot extra shots. Doubt they would have […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sadness over madness 20.11.2018 04:16:48

plantar fasciitis grief chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome ces mental disorders physical pain mass shooting cauda equina syndrome crps blogging depression chronic pain sadness
There was yet another shooting in the US. A hospital in Chicago lost an ER doc because of her fiance. We don’t know details because he is dead. An officer and a pharmacy tech were also killed. I am so sad over this. Docs are mad continues to happen while those in government do nothing. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

A day of reading 19.11.2018 04:32:48

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
A day of reading I wanted to finish Camino Island by John Grisham today and I did it. I had problems with my Kindle since last week as they did an update and they messed up my SD card, well, not really. The update made it so the Kindle didn’t recognize the SD card so […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Found out cause of fatigue 17.11.2018 20:38:12

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression fatigue chronic pain exhaustion blog chronic pain
Had my repeat blood work and urine tests done on Thursday. My sodium level was lower than it was on Tuesday. My doc called me around 8 am but I couldn’t get the phone in time. When I called back. The transcript from my voicemail was incorrect. Anyway he sent me a message explaining what […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Another blog by phone 14.11.2018 20:53:43

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder hyponatremia crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression medical complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression fatigue transgender blog chronic pain
I am still feeling crappy. Yesterday in was so exhausted after seeing the doc, I slept, had dinner, took my meds. And pretty much slept through the night. I woke up once to pee and take a horrible selfie. I felt like taking the shot of T then but i was too tired to be […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

More tiredness that is sticking around 13.11.2018 05:26:44

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome ankle pain physical pain mental disorders crps blogging depression blog chronic pain
So over the weekend I emailed my repro endo doc to say I’ve been really tired and described how tired I was and could it be the testosterone? She said most certainly not. I should see my pcp. Well today has been a real fucking day so why should calling my pcp be easy. He […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 11 11 2018 12.11.2018 00:21:59

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sunday Blog 11 Nov 2018 To the Veterans, Thank You for serving and your sacrifice! Today is my Godmother’s birthday. I sent scheduled messages to my cousins, her caretakers, at 11:11 am. I was up till 0430 as my pain was really bad. Started at 8 PM and just continued throughout the night and early […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

what a week 10.11.2018 05:07:10

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain baking blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
What a week! I am sorry I haven’t been writing as frequently as I have. I have just been so exhausted by the end of the day that I can’t think and all I want to do is sleep. I am not sure what is going on, if I am having another depressive episode or […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Election Day 6 November 2018 06.11.2018 19:02:44

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders election bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression election day blog chronic pain chronic illness
Election Day 6 November 2018 I woke up early despite have only a few hours sleep. I had a two hour nap, stayed up until around 330 and then woke up at 0740. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I took my morning meds early and then went downstairs. I brushed my teeth and then […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

finally home to relax 06.11.2018 02:01:19

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain cauda equina syndrome crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Finally home to relax Today is CRPS day so that is why I have an orange ribbon in this post I have been in more pain than my CRPS foot/ankle today. I tried getting a hold of my doctor to see what the hell the plan was other than “see a foot specialist.” I got […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sister’s party and other things. 04.11.2018 03:06:30

chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sister’s party and other things. Today was my sister’s birthday. My middle sister and the birthday girl’s husband threw a party. It was good. The food was excellent. My feet for the most part behaved. My aunts were my aunts. The lunatic one really got on my nerves. I knew she was going to sit […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

feeling shocked and in a flare 01.11.2018 23:37:34

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball back pain blog chronic pain chronic illness
Feeling shocked and in a flare I’ve been in pain since 5 this morning. I decided I wasn’t going to go to the pain program. I tried leaving a voicemail for the scheduler but she doesn’t work on Thursdays. So I wrote a message to both people I was seeing today through the gateway thingy. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Transition day 28 31.10.2018 20:10:57

transitioning coffee transition disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Transition day 28 Today is my 28th day on testosterone. I forgot to change the time on my med alarm so I woke up at 4 am because that is what I set it two weeks ago. I didn’t like waking up at that time at ALL! But I was awake and I have nothing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Red Sox and other boring stuff 30.10.2018 22:34:07

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Red Sox and other boring stuff The Red Sox won the game on Sunday night. The game got over some time before 1145 pm and I was so excited and thrilled. It was so awesome. But the excitement gave me pain. I have no idea what happened but my malleolus felt like it was bring […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Being really tired because of chronic pain 28.10.2018 15:47:52

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Being really tired because of chronic pain Friday night, I was up really late because the Sox game went into historic extra innings. By 330 am, the game was still going on. It was the top of the 18th inning and I decided to go to bed. I was in pain and needed sleep. The […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

no game tonight so I can sleep early 26.10.2018 01:55:14

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder cooking crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain recipes baking blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
No game tonight so I can sleep early Last night I was so dead, I think I saw the Dodgers take a 2-1 lead and then I passed out. Until 2 am. I had to pee. I did and then I couldn’t go back to sleep so I checked the score. We won 4-2. Price […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

NP idiot 24.10.2018 00:55:28

david jobes coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders hopelessness mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression writing suicide transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
I had an appt with a nurse practitioner that apparently got her license from a cracker jack box or maybe the Boston Globe. She was insistent on me having plantar fasciitis even though my PT ruled it out but didn’t I read the newspaper, not a medical journal, saying that plantar fasciitis is the new […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Long day with no nap 23.10.2018 01:31:13

psychache coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Long day with no nap I didn’t sleep well. The gastritis continued most of the day until I moved my bowels and then I felt better. I think I was so backed up, stuff wasn’t moving until the other end did. I am feeling better now but I got the sharts and just had a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

it’s Midnight and I woke up with heartburn 22.10.2018 07:33:44

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
It’s midnight and I woke up with heartburn I don’t know why they call it heartburn when it really is your esophagus burning. Anyway, I woke up with it and I had it most of the day, severe gastritis that at one point had me sitting down from the pain. It was awful and I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

depression creeping in slowly 20.10.2018 02:26:46

coffee therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder reading crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Depression creeping in slowly I didn’t want to blog today. I slept most of the day until my stupid mother called me to see where I was. I am 42, not 12. Then I got the why are you sleeping? The answer is the same. Pain kept me up. I couldn’t settle down after the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Another depression episode is coming 19.10.2018 01:17:36

psychological pain mental pain coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders hopelessness mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Another depression episode is coming Yesterday I was starting to feel symptoms of depression. Feeling worthless, everyone hates me, loss of appetite, feeling guilty over nothing, etc. Today I felt more of the same as I was riding the bus to my physical therapy appointment. I just didn’t want to go. I thought it was […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appointment and other things 17.10.2018 23:54:07

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy sexual abuse complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball painsomnia blog chronic pain chronic illness
Useless appointment and other things I had little sleep last night. In my painsomnia brain, I had decided to have an 0815 alarm. Why, I don’t remember. I just shut it off and went back to sleep. I am glad I didn’t touch my med alarm or I would have been screwed. I forced myself […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox Win Game 3 17.10.2018 03:47:46

coffee boston red sox disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain red sox nation blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain red sox chronic illness
Sox win game 3 Another nail biter. My favorite (okay one of my favorites) hit a grand salami that sent Houston fans to the exits. Sox won 8-2. A grand salami is a grand slam which is when the bases are loaded and the batter hits a home run scoring 4 runs (those on the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Pats and Sox win!!!! 15.10.2018 07:23:21

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders football mental illness sports bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Pats and Sox win!! Sox won. OverPrice would have had his first postseason win but they pulled him in the 4th inning. I don’t remember why as the fucking announcers were going on and on about some shit that I couldn’t follow. At one point, I lost track of the game because my favorite announcer […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain 14.10.2018 17:04:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain Sox lost last night so that is the “clean water” part of this blog. They were losing 3-2 in the 7th inning when sleepiness overcame me and I had to lay down. I woke up this morning to find out they lost 7-2 so I am glad […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Dystonia, no nap, and an unhappy Friday 13.10.2018 00:59:47

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
I had an early morning appointment with my PCP. I will never make an early appointment again. I just can’t seem to get moving and then I am rushing to get out the door to catch the bus. It was raining this morning but not hard. Just kind of misty. I didn’t care. I hate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain suicide ideation blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain suicide ideation crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball writing transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball writing transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com