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depression creeping in slowly 20.10.2018 02:26:46

crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy depression therapy coffee psychotherapist complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain therapist bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders reading crps blogging
Depression creeping in slowly I didn’t want to blog today. I slept most of the day until my stupid mother called me to see where I was. I am 42, not 12. Then I got the why are you sleeping? The answer is the same. Pain kept me up. I couldn’t settle down after the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Another depression episode is coming 19.10.2018 01:17:36

crps (formerly rsd) psychological pain depression mental pain coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging hopelessness
Another depression episode is coming Yesterday I was starting to feel symptoms of depression. Feeling worthless, everyone hates me, loss of appetite, feeling guilty over nothing, etc. Today I felt more of the same as I was riding the bus to my physical therapy appointment. I just didn’t want to go. I thought it was […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appointment and other things 17.10.2018 23:54:07

crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy therapy depression baseball psychotherapist sexual abuse complex regional pain syndrome painsomnia physical pain bipolar disorder therapist blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Useless appointment and other things I had little sleep last night. In my painsomnia brain, I had decided to have an 0815 alarm. Why, I don’t remember. I just shut it off and went back to sleep. I am glad I didn’t touch my med alarm or I would have been screwed. I forced myself […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox Win Game 3 17.10.2018 03:47:46

crps (formerly rsd) depression baseball coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness red sox nation bipolar disorder blog chronic pain red sox boston red sox disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Sox win game 3 Another nail biter. My favorite (okay one of my favorites) hit a grand salami that sent Houston fans to the exits. Sox won 8-2. A grand salami is a grand slam which is when the bases are loaded and the batter hits a home run scoring 4 runs (those on the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Pats and Sox win!!!! 15.10.2018 07:23:21

crps (formerly rsd) depression baseball football complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness sports bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Pats and Sox win!! Sox won. OverPrice would have had his first postseason win but they pulled him in the 4th inning. I don’t remember why as the fucking announcers were going on and on about some shit that I couldn’t follow. At one point, I lost track of the game because my favorite announcer […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain 14.10.2018 17:04:15

crps (formerly rsd) depression coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain Sox lost last night so that is the “clean water” part of this blog. They were losing 3-2 in the 7th inning when sleepiness overcame me and I had to lay down. I woke up this morning to find out they lost 7-2 so I am glad […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Dystonia, no nap, and an unhappy Friday 13.10.2018 00:59:47

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
I had an early morning appointment with my PCP. I will never make an early appointment again. I just can’t seem to get moving and then I am rushing to get out the door to catch the bus. It was raining this morning but not hard. Just kind of misty. I didn’t care. I hate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy therapy depression psychotherapist complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder therapist suicide ideation blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy therapy depression psychotherapist complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder therapist suicide ideation blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

crps (formerly rsd) depression baseball writing coffee ftm complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

crps (formerly rsd) depression baseball writing coffee ftm complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness bipolar disorder transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Loving Do Not Disturb Function 10.10.2018 00:54:01

crps (formerly rsd) depression writing coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Loving Do Not Disturb function I was up late, most from the exciting win of the Sox and then pain being stupid. I have no idea what time I fell asleep. I know it was after 0330. I had decided to put the Do Not Disturb on my phone as I didn’t want the med […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Early wake up so feeling like shit 08.10.2018 23:42:12

crps (formerly rsd) depression writing coffee ftm complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Early wake up so feeling like shit Yesterday I woke up early but I only slept for about 3-4 hours. I didn’t go to bed till around 4-430 am because pain was keeping me up. I kind of woke up okay. I had breakfast and coffee. Then I decided to make my mother her chocolate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Catch up and a little today stuff, too haha 06.10.2018 21:51:22

crps (formerly rsd) therapy depression ftm complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness therapist bipolar disorder transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Catch up and a little today stuff too haha So yesterday I didn’t write a blog because after my two appointments in Boston, I was tired so took a nap that lasted longer than I wanted it. Then it was game time and after I took my night meds, I was struggling to stay up […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

nice day for doing nothing 05.10.2018 01:47:53

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability cauda equina syndrome chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Nice day for doing nothing Yesterday I had all sorts of pain. I really overdid it. I came home from therapy and was really tired. I tried to lay down to nap and my foot/ankle were shaking from fatigue. It was the weirdest sensation. It was like it was trying to hold itself up and […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

baking on a cold, rainy day 03.10.2018 00:31:26

crps (formerly rsd) depression baseball coffee complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Baking on a cold, rainy day I had a difficult sleep. My alarm went off and I was disoriented as I didn’t know what the noise was. I shut it off and waited a few minutes before getting up to take my meds. Then I went back to sleep, which was oblivion for me. I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Guess who… 02.10.2018 01:48:00

crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression therapy depression complex regional pain syndrome painsomnia mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder therapist transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders crps blogging
I was able to shave and shower this morning. I had a ton of time before I had to leave. I took my time getting ready. I guess the bus I needed to take to the Square was delayed as the other bus came. I decided to take it rather than wait. I figured in […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 30 Sept 18 01.10.2018 00:27:44

crps (formerly rsd) depression sleep problem complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Sunday Blog 30 Sept 18 I am really upset, at this damn condition and my mother. I attempted to make this blasted lemon loaf. It is getting to be a huge pain in the ass. What I zested at the beginning of Sept was not enough. I bought more lemons as I needed the juice. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Painful Saturday Blog 29 Sept 18 29.09.2018 21:38:35

crps (formerly rsd) depression writing books suicide coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Painful Saturday blog 29 Sept 18 I woke up before 8 as bladder said so. I went and when I came back to my room and in my bed, my foot exploded. I took my morning pain meds. I waited a half hour and the pain didn’t calm down, I took a breakthrough med. There […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Anxiety and not knowing it (my list of worries) 29.09.2018 00:53:11

crps (formerly rsd) depression transitioning ftm complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Anxiety and not knowing it (my list of worries) Last night I was up due to a flare. I had done way too much and was hurting. I couldn’t sleep so I was thinking a lot of things. I pondered about stuff that happened during yesterday’s PT session. I realized then that I have a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sprain, Pain, and physical therapy 28.09.2018 01:20:59

crps (formerly rsd) depression coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Sprain, Pain, and physical therapy I had PT today. I had to have my cousin drop me on the station because I was low on the my pass funds, again. I have had to put $15 on the ticket so far because I use it so much. I am definitely getting a monthly pass when […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appt that wasn’t so useless after all!! 24.09.2018 19:47:29

crps (formerly rsd) depression nerve injury ftm complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Useless appointment wasn’t so useless after all!!! I had a hard time sleeping. Pain was awful last night and had me really depressed. I woke up a few times before my alarm but didn’t do much. I was already maxed on stuff I could take and I didn’t want to take any Neurontin because it […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 23 Sept 18 24.09.2018 03:49:26

crps (formerly rsd) depression coffee complex regional pain syndrome mental illness physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability cauda equina syndrome chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Sunday Blog 23 Sept 18 I saw my friend in the hospital today. It was good to see my friends. Even though I worked at the hospital and knew where to go, it was exhausting walking around. From the garage to the building he was at, just exhausted me. He wanted something in the café […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

First day of Fall 22-Sept-18 23.09.2018 01:35:00

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
First day of Fall 22 Sept 18 I read a few chapters of the book “Helping the suicidal person” By Dr. Stacey Freedenthal. I bought it because I am a geek in suicidology and because I came to know the therapist through Twitter during a rough patch. I was extremely hopeless and she gave me […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

back pain sucks! 20.09.2018 21:05:44

crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy depression therapy psychotherapist complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder therapist blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Back pain sucks! I woke up in the same position I went to sleep in, which is weird because I almost never do. My back was hurting. I slowly shift so I could take my meds and get up. Standing hurt like a SOB. My legs were hurting so bad. And I could not stand […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Ah, what is a little psychosis and a lot of anger 19.09.2018 06:32:50

crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression opioid epidemic depression psychosis complex regional pain syndrome painsomnia physical pain mental disorders mental illness voices bipolar disorder anger blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders crps blogging mood disorder
**may contain errors as I am on my phone** My day started ok. It was raining pretty hard so I canceled PT. I tried to reschedule but there was nothing open the rest of the week. Then FB had this you got 4,000 like thing. The 1st pic was my legal document stating my legal […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

A day of rest yet still in pain 17.09.2018 21:44:39

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
A day of rest yet still in pain Yesterday I stayed in bed most of the day. I slept for the majority of the time. Both ankles were still hurting and my left foot/ankle was still swollen, though not as much. It really didn’t go down until late last night. I wanted to write a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Swirl of Things Saturday Blog 15 Sept 18 15.09.2018 19:59:58

crps (formerly rsd) depression ftm complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder transgender blog gender dysphoria chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Swirl of things Saturday Blog 15 Sept 18 If you are a daily reader, I apologize for not writing for a few days. I’ve been in a lot of pain and yesterday I had my cousin’s wedding. It went well. My ankle is still swollen from last night and I have the concert to go […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

three hour evaluations 13.09.2018 02:13:19

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Three hour evaluations I had my three 1 hour evaluations today for the pain program. First one was with the social worker. Think I gave too much information about my suicidal history than I would have liked. I did have a teaching moment where I told her “safety contracts” were shit and safety planning was […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

just another busy day with PT 12.09.2018 02:01:21

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Just another busy day with PT I didn’t get much sleep last night. My feet got cold as the temps were chilly. Then they warmed up after wearing thermal socks. I took them off and OMG my foot went berserk. It felt like a knife was cutting an arc in my foot. It took several […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Feeling lifeless again with jelly legs 10.09.2018 23:45:19

crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy therapy depression baseball psychotherapist coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder therapist blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Feeling lifeless again with jelly legs I woke up in the middle of the night again. I can’t remember what for. I just know it disrupted my sleep. I woke up a little before my med alarm and kind of just laid there until it went off. I just didn’t want to get up. By […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 9 Sept 18 10.09.2018 03:13:52

crps (formerly rsd) depression coffee complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Sunday blog 9 Sept 18 I woke up around 2 in pain. My damn genitals felt like they were being crushed. No idea if they were or not. There was nothing there but OMG the pain when I touched myself was unreal. It took a few hours to settle down. When I woke up to […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Saturday Blog 8 Sept 18 09.09.2018 03:21:52

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
Saturday Blog 8 Sept 18 I didn’t know if I would write a blog today. I slept kind of later than I liked so I didn’t bake. Then I had dinner at my sister’s, which was a couple hours after having breakfast. My stomach is killing me for whatever reason. My sister just used lemon […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Feeling tired after a long day 08.09.2018 01:43:51

crps (formerly rsd) depression transitioning ftm complex regional pain syndrome physical pain transition bipolar disorder transgender blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Feeling tired after a long day I woke up early, a few hours before my alarm because I had to move but it was not easy. I was in pain from the position I was in. I turned over carefully and slightly went to sleep, only to wake up because that position caused my elbow […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Hot and humid and feeling exhaustipated 06.09.2018 02:05:54

crps (formerly rsd) depression baseball complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Hot and humid and feeling exhaustipated (note, I “stole” pic from twitter so might be taken down) I thought the weather was going to be cooler, but I guess maybe tomorrow that starts. I had a rough time getting up. I woke up before my med alarm and I had all the intention of taking […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Buses, voting, and feeling accomplished 04.09.2018 20:18:56

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging voting
Buses, voting, and feeling accomplished I woke up about quarter to seven. I wanted to sleep so I fudged the med alarm so it wouldn’t go off. I took my meds. But I had a hard time falling back to sleep. I was feeling edgy. I had to make three phone calls and then go […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 3 Sept 18 03.09.2018 23:58:36

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps
Sunday Blog 3 Sept 18 I wrote a blog via my phone in the WordPress app back in March. Someone recently commented on it and I replied. He replied. I read it to refresh my memory and found like two errors. I knew immediately it was done on my phone only because when I type […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Luke Combs Top Songs 03.09.2018 03:12:39

crps (formerly rsd) luke combs depression music complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders blogging crps country music
Luke Combs top songs I wanted to get my favorite Luke Combs songs in my top 25 playlist so I created a playlist with just those songs I liked. Beautiful Crazy and One Number Away are already on there but the others aren’t, yet. My app keeps track on how many times I play a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Saturday Blog 1-Sept-18 02.09.2018 01:26:14

crps (formerly rsd) depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain chronic illness mood disorders crps blogging
Saturday blog 1 Sept 18 I should put do not disturb on more often when there are days I don’t have to do anything. I have it set so only my mother can call me, if there is a problem. But she didn’t call me today and I slept till 3 pm! I had woken […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

30 Aug 18 31.08.2018 01:33:32

crps (formerly rsd) depression writing complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental illness bipolar disorder blog chronic pain disability chronic physical pain mood disorders chronic illness crps blogging
30 Aug 18 I am in a flare right now because I helped my mother with dinner. I was in my room and she yelled for me so I kind of ran down the stairs to make sure she was alright. Next thing I know she is telling me to do this and that for […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com