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depression creeping in slowly 20.10.2018 02:26:46

coffee therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder reading crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Depression creeping in slowly I didn’t want to blog today. I slept most of the day until my stupid mother called me to see where I was. I am 42, not 12. Then I got the why are you sleeping? The answer is the same. Pain kept me up. I couldn’t settle down after the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

RED SOX ARE WORD SERIES BOUND 19.10.2018 07:42:40

chronic physical pain bipolar disorder blogging baseball alcs world series blog chronic pain
Hi all, My boys have done it. We have beaten the Houston Astros and are going to the World Series. We don’t know who we are playing yet. It will either be the Los Angeles Dodgers or the Milwaukee Brewers. I am hoping for the Dodgers. I think that will be a great match up. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

RED SOX ARE WORLD SERIES BOUND 19.10.2018 07:42:40

chronic physical pain bipolar disorder blogging baseball alcs world series blog chronic pain
Hi all, My boys have done it. We have beaten the Houston Astros and are going to the World Series. We don’t know who we are playing yet. It will either be the Los Angeles Dodgers or the Milwaukee Brewers. I am hoping for the Dodgers. I think that will be a great match up. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Another depression episode is coming 19.10.2018 01:17:36

psychological pain mental pain coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders hopelessness mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Another depression episode is coming Yesterday I was starting to feel symptoms of depression. Feeling worthless, everyone hates me, loss of appetite, feeling guilty over nothing, etc. Today I felt more of the same as I was riding the bus to my physical therapy appointment. I just didn’t want to go. I thought it was […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appointment and other things 17.10.2018 23:54:07

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy sexual abuse complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball painsomnia blog chronic pain chronic illness
Useless appointment and other things I had little sleep last night. In my painsomnia brain, I had decided to have an 0815 alarm. Why, I don’t remember. I just shut it off and went back to sleep. I am glad I didn’t touch my med alarm or I would have been screwed. I forced myself […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox Win Game 3 17.10.2018 03:47:46

coffee boston red sox disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain red sox nation blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain red sox chronic illness
Sox win game 3 Another nail biter. My favorite (okay one of my favorites) hit a grand salami that sent Houston fans to the exits. Sox won 8-2. A grand salami is a grand slam which is when the bases are loaded and the batter hits a home run scoring 4 runs (those on the […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Pats and Sox win!!!! 15.10.2018 07:23:21

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders football mental illness sports bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Pats and Sox win!! Sox won. OverPrice would have had his first postseason win but they pulled him in the 4th inning. I don’t remember why as the fucking announcers were going on and on about some shit that I couldn’t follow. At one point, I lost track of the game because my favorite announcer […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain 14.10.2018 17:04:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain Sox lost last night so that is the “clean water” part of this blog. They were losing 3-2 in the 7th inning when sleepiness overcame me and I had to lay down. I woke up this morning to find out they lost 7-2 so I am glad […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Dystonia, no nap, and an unhappy Friday 13.10.2018 00:59:47

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
I had an early morning appointment with my PCP. I will never make an early appointment again. I just can’t seem to get moving and then I am rushing to get out the door to catch the bus. It was raining this morning but not hard. Just kind of misty. I didn’t care. I hate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain suicide ideation blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Once again having to figure things out on my own 12.10.2018 00:20:16

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain suicide ideation crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Once again having to figure things out on my own Last night I wrote a blog about my frustrations in therapy. I basically have until Sunday around noon time to either cancel my appointment with my therapist or not. It still is in the air. I know that I should talk to him but I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

World Mental Health Day 11.10.2018 04:54:02

psychological pain psychache mental pain schizoaffective disorder therapist disability ptsd mood disorders hopelessness therapy psychotherapist world mental health day mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychotherapy psychosis suicide ideation blogging depression writing suicide blog chronic illness
This is going to be negative but I don’t care as it is my lived experience: I’ve been in therapy since I was 15 because I self-harmed. Seen a wide range of therapists from social workers to psychologists to psychiatrists. Most have ended treatment with me for various reasons. I am now on therapist number […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

World Mental Health Day 11.10.2018 04:54:02

psychological pain psychache mental pain schizoaffective disorder therapist disability ptsd mood disorders hopelessness therapy psychotherapist world mental health day mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychotherapy psychosis suicide ideation blogging depression writing suicide blog chronic illness
This is going to be negative but I don’t care as it is my lived experience: I’ve been in therapy since I was 15 because I self-harmed. Seen a wide range of therapists from social workers to psychologists to psychiatrists. Most have ended treatment with me for various reasons. I am now on therapist number […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball writing transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! 10.10.2018 23:01:15

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball writing transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sox are ALDS Champs!!!! OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Loving Do Not Disturb Function 10.10.2018 00:54:01

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression writing blog chronic pain chronic illness
Loving Do Not Disturb function I was up late, most from the exciting win of the Sox and then pain being stupid. I have no idea what time I fell asleep. I know it was after 0330. I had decided to put the Do Not Disturb on my phone as I didn’t want the med […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Early wake up so feeling like shit 08.10.2018 23:42:12

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression writing blog chronic pain chronic illness
Early wake up so feeling like shit Yesterday I woke up early but I only slept for about 3-4 hours. I didn’t go to bed till around 4-430 am because pain was keeping me up. I kind of woke up okay. I had breakfast and coffee. Then I decided to make my mother her chocolate […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Catch up and a little today stuff, too haha 06.10.2018 21:51:22

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Catch up and a little today stuff too haha So yesterday I didn’t write a blog because after my two appointments in Boston, I was tired so took a nap that lasted longer than I wanted it. Then it was game time and after I took my night meds, I was struggling to stay up […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

nice day for doing nothing 05.10.2018 01:47:53

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain cauda equina syndrome crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Nice day for doing nothing Yesterday I had all sorts of pain. I really overdid it. I came home from therapy and was really tired. I tried to lay down to nap and my foot/ankle were shaking from fatigue. It was the weirdest sensation. It was like it was trying to hold itself up and […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

TG short post 04.10.2018 01:01:55

transitioning chronic physical pain bipolar ftm bipolar disorder physical pain blogging crps depression transgender
Hi all my lovely readers, I am really sore and in a middleweight now so today’s day 1 post will be tomorrow. Injection went well. I am just mentally and physically drained. Thanks for reading... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

baking on a cold, rainy day 03.10.2018 00:31:26

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Baking on a cold, rainy day I had a difficult sleep. My alarm went off and I was disoriented as I didn’t know what the noise was. I shut it off and waited a few minutes before getting up to take my meds. Then I went back to sleep, which was oblivion for me. I […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Guess who… 02.10.2018 01:48:00

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression painsomnia transgender blog chronic pain
I was able to shave and shower this morning. I had a ton of time before I had to leave. I took my time getting ready. I guess the bus I needed to take to the Square was delayed as the other bus came. I decided to take it rather than wait. I figured in […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 30 Sept 18 01.10.2018 00:27:44

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression sleep problem blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sunday Blog 30 Sept 18 I am really upset, at this damn condition and my mother. I attempted to make this blasted lemon loaf. It is getting to be a huge pain in the ass. What I zested at the beginning of Sept was not enough. I bought more lemons as I needed the juice. […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Painful Saturday Blog 29 Sept 18 29.09.2018 21:38:35

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders books bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression writing suicide blog chronic pain chronic illness
Painful Saturday blog 29 Sept 18 I woke up before 8 as bladder said so. I went and when I came back to my room and in my bed, my foot exploded. I took my morning pain meds. I waited a half hour and the pain didn’t calm down, I took a breakthrough med. There […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Anxiety and not knowing it (my list of worries) 29.09.2018 00:53:11

transitioning disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Anxiety and not knowing it (my list of worries) Last night I was up due to a flare. I had done way too much and was hurting. I couldn’t sleep so I was thinking a lot of things. I pondered about stuff that happened during yesterday’s PT session. I realized then that I have a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sprain, Pain, and physical therapy 28.09.2018 01:20:59

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sprain, Pain, and physical therapy I had PT today. I had to have my cousin drop me on the station because I was low on the my pass funds, again. I have had to put $15 on the ticket so far because I use it so much. I am definitely getting a monthly pass when […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Those Worlds Are Far Better 26.09.2018 16:47:12

bipolar disorder depression in the fall bipolar depression bipolar 2 depression
I bought a third potted mum so that I could fit in with all the new neighbourhood  housewives BUT I bought them all in odd…... mehr auf makemommygosomethingsomething.com

About Therapists 25.09.2018 21:50:34

psychological pain psychache mental pain suicide attempt schizoaffective disorder therapist grief disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ptsd hopelessness psychiatry psychotherapist mental illness bipolar disorder suicidality psychotherapy suicide ideation blogging crps depression suicide blog chronic pain
About therapists I have been thinking about writing this for a while, just an overview about the many therapists I have had from all different degrees and orientations. I started off seeing a school counselor. She was getting her degree in counseling, though I am not sure if it was as a school counselor or […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Useless appt that wasn’t so useless after all!! 24.09.2018 19:47:29

nerve injury disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Useless appointment wasn’t so useless after all!!! I had a hard time sleeping. Pain was awful last night and had me really depressed. I woke up a few times before my alarm but didn’t do much. I was already maxed on stuff I could take and I didn’t want to take any Neurontin because it […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 23 Sept 18 24.09.2018 03:49:26

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain cauda equina syndrome crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sunday Blog 23 Sept 18 I saw my friend in the hospital today. It was good to see my friends. Even though I worked at the hospital and knew where to go, it was exhausting walking around. From the garage to the building he was at, just exhausted me. He wanted something in the café […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

First day of Fall 22-Sept-18 23.09.2018 01:35:00

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
First day of Fall 22 Sept 18 I read a few chapters of the book “Helping the suicidal person” By Dr. Stacey Freedenthal. I bought it because I am a geek in suicidology and because I came to know the therapist through Twitter during a rough patch. I was extremely hopeless and she gave me […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

back pain sucks! 20.09.2018 21:05:44

therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Back pain sucks! I woke up in the same position I went to sleep in, which is weird because I almost never do. My back was hurting. I slowly shift so I could take my meds and get up. Standing hurt like a SOB. My legs were hurting so bad. And I could not stand […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Half Spin In The Parking Lot 19.09.2018 13:59:03

coping with bipolar depression bipolar disorder bipolar depression bipolar anxiety anxiety depression
September came out of nowhere and then I woke up one morning and depression was there. It’s like it just knew that it was time…... mehr auf makemommygosomethingsomething.com

Ah, what is a little psychosis and a lot of anger 19.09.2018 06:32:50

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders mental illness bipolar disorder anger mood disorder crps (formerly rsd) bipolar depression psychosis complex regional pain syndrome physical pain mental disorders voices crps blogging opioid epidemic depression painsomnia blog chronic pain
**may contain errors as I am on my phone** My day started ok. It was raining pretty hard so I canceled PT. I tried to reschedule but there was nothing open the rest of the week. Then FB had this you got 4,000 like thing. The 1st pic was my legal document stating my legal […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

A day of rest yet still in pain 17.09.2018 21:44:39

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
A day of rest yet still in pain Yesterday I stayed in bed most of the day. I slept for the majority of the time. Both ankles were still hurting and my left foot/ankle was still swollen, though not as much. It really didn’t go down until late last night. I wanted to write a […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Swirl of Things Saturday Blog 15 Sept 18 15.09.2018 19:59:58

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders ftm bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain gender dysphoria crps blogging depression transgender blog chronic pain chronic illness
Swirl of things Saturday Blog 15 Sept 18 If you are a daily reader, I apologize for not writing for a few days. I’ve been in a lot of pain and yesterday I had my cousin’s wedding. It went well. My ankle is still swollen from last night and I have the concert to go […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

three hour evaluations 13.09.2018 02:13:19

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Three hour evaluations I had my three 1 hour evaluations today for the pain program. First one was with the social worker. Think I gave too much information about my suicidal history than I would have liked. I did have a teaching moment where I told her “safety contracts” were shit and safety planning was […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

just another busy day with PT 12.09.2018 02:01:21

disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Just another busy day with PT I didn’t get much sleep last night. My feet got cold as the temps were chilly. Then they warmed up after wearing thermal socks. I took them off and OMG my foot went berserk. It felt like a knife was cutting an arc in my foot. It took several […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Feeling lifeless again with jelly legs 10.09.2018 23:45:19

coffee therapist disability chronic physical pain mood disorders therapy psychotherapist bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) psychotherapy complex regional pain syndrome physical pain blogging crps depression baseball blog chronic pain chronic illness
Feeling lifeless again with jelly legs I woke up in the middle of the night again. I can’t remember what for. I just know it disrupted my sleep. I woke up a little before my med alarm and kind of just laid there until it went off. I just didn’t want to get up. By […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com

Sunday Blog 9 Sept 18 10.09.2018 03:13:52

coffee disability chronic physical pain mood disorders bipolar disorder crps (formerly rsd) complex regional pain syndrome physical pain crps blogging depression blog chronic pain chronic illness
Sunday blog 9 Sept 18 I woke up around 2 in pain. My damn genitals felt like they were being crushed. No idea if they were or not. There was nothing there but OMG the pain when I touched myself was unreal. It took a few hours to settle down. When I woke up to […]... mehr auf midnightdemons7.wordpress.com